Fuck a "Mrs" put "Multi Millionare" before my name

I'm Marleigh

I like turtles bongs and shoes

Lets talk

foxalpha:

falstafff:

i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck

(via hotpotatoesfries)

royalblackpirate:

epic-vines:

When tree branches get in my way

Vine by: Logan Paul

How we manage to cram such genius in 6 seconds is beyond me. This is art.

(via cupcakeluvsmb)

(Source: lovesblowinsmoke, via jamarrob)

myrababe24:

first-kiss-since-45:

vikadi:

set of nostalgia drawings by gabriel picolo. i don’t think i have enough space on my tumblr for all his works that i’d like to post.

these are incredible

tiptoptiff raetoya420 sweetdreams011

(via cupcakeluvsmb)

ridge:

aye wassup beautiful 

(via d0nn0)

jennatalherpes:

this fucking line. this is revolutionary.

jennatalherpes:

this fucking line. this is revolutionary.

(Source: hungry-queen, via enigmatic-minds)

babeobaggins:

nothing will ever be as funny as this is

(Source: doyouthinklisazemoishot, via zooeyclairedeschanel)

definitelyno:

……..
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definitelyno:

……..
…………

(via zooeyclairedeschanel)

campaignomar49:

timidtorso:

why do niggas rub they head when they caught up

restore blood flow so u come up wit a lie faster

(Source: redclaysweetie, via zooeyclairedeschanel)

heliolisk:

as the prophet childish gambino once said “dont be mad cause im doing me better than u doing u”

(via zooeyclairedeschanel)

freshprincefromhell:

Mac gets it

freshprincefromhell:

Mac gets it

(via n3ver-kn0wn)

(Source: harrygilmore, via penis-hilton)

cupcakeluvsmb:

Just saw this on my tl lmao

cupcakeluvsmb:

Just saw this on my tl lmao

1. I can’t get up at the crack of dawn to carpe fucking diem because I’m out five nights a week chasing laughter and the moonlight.

2. I don’t want to wake up feeling comfortable. Fuck comfort. I want to wake up and know I’ve woken up, I want to feel my life as it happens and if that means a throbbing headache, so be it; I’d rather dance in the dark than under a rainbow.

3. Eat whatever you want, idiots.

4. My breakfast happens at 1pm and I’d like to read whilst I eat it, thankyou very much.

5. I don’t need to stretch, nor do I need to reach for the sky; I am not a member of S Club 7 and my head is already in the clouds.

6. Drink all the water your body needs, put a chopped up lemon in your bottle but never neglect iced tea and vodka - whatever your poison, indulge yourself in it sometimes. Striving for perfection in any aspect of your life is just going to disappoint you; have a shot every now and then.

7. If you’re living life, you might not have time to write down your activities until four in the morning. Your life record may be scribbled onto receipts as you ride the train. That’s okay too; it doesn’t have to be beautiful to be valid.

8. Sleep on a pile of towels if you have to. Sleep in the grass. Sleep at a new friends’ place every night. As long as you’re sleeping next to something you love - whether it be a partner or the latest Palahniuk - scented fabric softener won’t mean shit.

9. Chaos can be better sometimes.

10. Run into the ocean instead.

11. You don’t owe strangers your smile. You don’t owe nature your observation. Maybe you don’t have a dog to walk.

12. Don’t make plans you can’t follow through with, it’s unfair.

13.

14. Fuck it. Pick up a book because you liked the cover. Pick up a book because the person before you left it behind. Scribble all over it if you want. Tear pages out and cut out words if you want. Pick up no books for a month, then ten in a day. Books will always be there.

15. Be yourself without imposing cliched values and movie-romance ideas onto your personality. Do what comes naturally. If you don’t want to pay your speeding fines, don’t fucking pay them, it’s your life. If you don’t like old people, don’t go and volunteer at their homes, you’ll only make everyone there miserable. Find your true bliss rather than assuming you’ll know what it is by sticking your tongue out at babies. You’ll get there, there’s no rush.

16. Don’t fucking daydream about it. Do it. Write your own ending.

– Fuck Your ‘Sixteen Small Steps to Happiness’, love Daisy Lola (via meatandsarcasmguy)

(Source: fuckmisstexas, via shootcokehailsatan)